Knot My Line

My kids think they have out foxed their dad, but I am on to them.  For the last several years they have been nagging me that I am turning more and more into a hermit, that I don’t get enough exercise, and that I need something to keep me active.

So they got together and hatched a plot; ”lets give dad another dog, a young one with lots of energy, that will help a lot.”  I am positive they had a conversation something like that, but they deny it, and then look at each other and go “wink, wink, wink”.  

So an opportunity presents itself.  Sadly, Rocky’s dog, Malachi, dies.  Then, with deep love and tenderness toward her little sister, Lynn, wink, wink, gives Rocky her 3 year old English Bulldog, Billy.  A strong, energetic, beautiful, loving, pain in the ass.  John, who has carefully stayed in the background says to dad, “That is a lot of dog, I don’t think it will last with Rocky”.  

Of, course, after a couple of weeks of “problems”, Billy finally is too much dog for Rocky to keep.  So sweet old dad says; “I’ll take care of him until we figure out how to get him back to Lynn”.   Ha!, the trap has been sprung!  The kids are so pleased with themselves.  They love it when a plan comes together!

Well, dad has a surprise for the kids.  Billy is lazier than dad by far.  All he wants is to sleep, eat, pee, poop and chase Attila the grouse.  (Attila the grouse has been hanging around for over a year now and thinks that dad’s property belongs to grouse and not humans.)

Today, Billy finally caught Attila!  And what did this ferocious dog do?   He  head butted Attila a half dozen times, let him up and then chased him from on end of the property to the other.  After that Billy came home and slept for 3 hours. 

Yep. The conspiracy the kids hatched is really working.  Now dad has a bull dog that is more bull than dog.  Who the hell ever heard of a head butting bull dog?