Knot My Line

Technorati tags: Mesa, Arizona, heart failure, pacemaker, Assisted Living

My 92 year old mother had lived for 20 plus years in a retirement village in Mesa Arizona. Then she came down with congestive heart failure and had a pacemaker implanted. A year later she had decided that she could no longer live alone.

For years, my siblings and I had all offered our homes to her. But mom was an extremely independent person and refused us all repeatedly. Part of the problem was that Mesa was her adopted home and we lived in other parts of the country and she did not want to relocate. She had a large community of friends there, was active in her church and was familiar with the area. She had found a lovely assisted living home there in Mesa and decided to move there where she could still function as an independent person, but easily get assistance any time she needed it, day or night.

My sister had just been there on her annual vacation the month prior to mom’s decision while I was already retired. So I was the logical one to help her. When I returned from my task, I wrote the following.

                                             Moving Mom

Mom is moved and I am exhausted! I don’t know how long it would have taken me if I had not had help from family.

My nephew went to Mesa ahead of me. He spent 2 days running errands, packing and organizing before I got there and another helping me move her stuff into her new place.

Because the studio she has in the Assisted Living Home is much smaller than her old apartment that left about 80% of her “stuff” still to be dealt with. George Carlin does a great routine on “stuff”. Moms “stuff” is/was very important to her. In order to determine what was going with her, what was being given away and to whom it was going to, she had to touch everything! Then came the story about how she obtained it, the person that gave it to her, their life story and then finally what was to be done with it. Our time was limited, so this just frustrated the daylights out of us. Mom would not be rushed! This was important “stuff”!

I spent a couple more days organizing and packing the rest of her “stuff” and then my daughter Lynn and my grandson showed up to help. The next two days we sold off most of her remaining furniture, hauled stuff to the Salvation Army, gave mementos to many of her local friends and trashed what could not be given away. Mom gave Lynn a table & chairs, and a sofa. Lynn also got to take many of mom’s old keepsakes so they could be distributed to the rest of the family. Lucky kid! We rented a U-haul to cart it all back to Southern California.

If I had my way, I would have put a sign up in the Retirement Village she had lived in. It would have been titled “Free Stuff”. That would have simplified everything. I’m sure the entire apartment could have been cleaned out with no effort. When I wanted to give something away, I would put it out on a little table next to the elevator and It would be gone in minutes.

The good news is mom seems to like her new environment. She has her own studio with room for her bed, a sitting area for watching TV or visiting and a big bathroom. There is a small “kitchen” area, no stove, but a microwave and a small refrigerator / freezer The building has very nice laundry facilities, game rooms, a garden area and a dining room for meals, which are quite good. There is a nurse to see after her medications. An aide comes in and gives her a bath several times a week. There are people are on call at all hours of the day if she needs help with anything. Being 93 and blind she needs that kind of assistance.

Even though I know that the move will greatly benefit mom, I came away quite depressed. I did not like having to do that. It really is the end of an era and for mom perhaps the beginning of the end. Very depressing! I hope I am smart enough to do this for myself rather than force my kids to go through all this pain.

Anyhow, I am back home. I am going to sleep the rest of the week.